[He shuffles a little bit, like he's going to move on, then shuffles back. This is as uncharted territory for him as it is for Magnus dealing with him, so he has no good answers here. Notably, he hasn't exactly worked up the nerve to peer into the pod again, because it's just going to make him furiously, deeply sad again. She's here. She's alive. That's gotta be enough for now, doesn't it.
He opens his mouth to make some sort of explanation and then closes it again a couple of times. This is difficult, emotions are hard, being a stunted baby is ruining his life etc. He goes through another minor face journey - ending on sour. He's going through entire emotional gamuts here in record time.]
I dont -- I don't know what I'm supposed to do here? [And that's a big admission. He almost always has something. A plan. At least an exit strategy. But now it's like every idea has been totally upended, and he's lost, nearly alone, angry. Of course he isn't ready. He isn't equipped for any of this.] She's right there and I can't do shit, can I? It fucking sucks.
I lose her, and when I get to remember that shit going down, finally, when I get a chance to do something - it's poof! gone. The entire thing. Right into the Hunger, the Storm, what-the-fuck-ever it's called. Not even a chance to fight back or give it the old [He flips off the sky for emphasis.] razzle-dazzle as we go down. And, against all reason, we're washed up here on Moon Base 2.0 with only a pinkie shake deal with a god who's got her on ice until . . . who knows! It's a freakin' surprise. We don't know anything, we can't do anything, can't plan anything. I can't exactly crawl in there and just go back to sleep, so I guess the options are sit here and let the whole, uh, apocalypse-induced despair take over, or keep shuffling on doing our little goof goof boner hot take routine until I can think of something better. That might actually work.
[He knows he shouldn't acknowledge this mess; there are rules to dealing with Taako, and that's one of the most important ones. But he can't really help the sad puppy face he gets during all of this.]
It's okay to be angry at it. [It doesn't have to be goof goof boner hot take, he means.]
[ It's a little snippy, but it's not really said with spite. The sad puppy routine doesn't make Taako any angrier, but it does make him back off a bit. He knows it isn't pity being directed at him, but he doesn't even want to be the same vicinity as being pitied - and this whole Look is definitely edging towards getting him elected Mayor of Mess Town which is an appointment that comes with a key to the Pity Vaults.
Either way, he doesn't want to be here any longer at this point. Also he only has one spell left (though he is very much unaware of that.) ]
Your, uh. [Dead wife? That seems insensitive? Not that calling her an "uh" is any better.] I don't know her, so that dog won't hunt. [ He hesitates a long second before he offers the handle of the Umbra Staff. He's still holding on, Magnus is just gonna have to hold onto the steering wheel as well, like letting a toddler drive the car by sitting on your lap. ] Grab a wing and think hard. Maybe can make this work like I'm some sort of magical tuning device.
[Right. Taking the hint and backing off. No comment except for following Taako's awkward deflection --] Julia. [You can just call her Julia, Taako. You don't have to call her the uh, you know, dead wife from your morbid backstory?
But he doesn't have anything else to say about it. He grips the handle and thinks about Julia. Its been a very long time, and maybe it shoulder be harder to remember this clearly. He's spent a lot of time thinking of Julia in the abstract but not so much time thinking about Julia the person, at least not recently. But then, counting the chalice, it's really only been a matter of months since he last saw her, and that's an easy memory to focus his mind on. He pictures her, on that last day that his life was perfect, and feels a sudden spike of selfishness for it, and he thinks to himself please, please, please.]
[ This may or may not be how the spell is supposed to work, but it's narratively convenient and that's always worked out for them in the past. Keeping eyes open this time - because he doesn't have to do the majority of the concentration and someone has to sort of make sure they don't run into too much stuff. It's sort of a ouija board situation where it's not exactly obvious who's pushing or pulling in any direction - but eventually (after clipping a couple of pods and Taako not apologizing for letting them hit anything) the spell seems to dissipate, the light from the star at the end of the Umbra Staff fading.
Taako feels, suddenly, pretty exhausted for reasons unknown. Could just be the kind of drained you feel after emotional outbursts, but he isn't quite connecting that he's totally out of spells for unexplained nerfing reasons. Maybe he shouldn't have wasted three on a tantrum? Oh well. Slipping the end of the umbrella out of Magnus' hand and stepping aside to lean against one of the other pods to wait. ]
[Whether it works from Taako's channeling or just the general pathetic puppy waves of sad boy devotion radiating off Magnus, it's hard to say. He stops and lets go of the umbrella and feels like he should feel differently, like he should just know which of the several pods around them is special. He doesn't - they all look like pods, and he doesn't feel any differently. Is it the one right in front of them, or the one Taako's leaning against or is it behind them, or is it none of them - did the spell fail, or is she just not here because she's been gone for years and it shouldn't be possible.
He's scared. Not just nervous or overwhelmed by feelings but heart hammeringly terrified, in a way he hasn't felt in a very, very long time. Enough that it makes it hard for him to move his legs to walk over to the pod in front of them, or to reach out his hand to wipe the glass and peer inside. But he does it anyway, forcing his way into bravery the best way he knows how.
It should be pretty obvious, once he actually looks inside, that this is the right pod. His face falls and he looks stricken, just before he leans in to rest his forehead against the glass, one hand pressed against the door for support. He doesn't actually say anything, just rests there. There are a few good seconds of silence, broken into when it becomes obvious he's crying a little.]
🚨 please send help trapped on sad boy island SOS 🚨
[ Oh yikeseroni. This is deeply, deeply uncomfortable. It isn't that Taako doesn't get it, he does, but he's reached the absolutely end of his knowledge about how to deal with any of this.
His best idea is to maybe just. Cast a casual Blink and give Magnus some space - definitely for Magnus' sake and not for his own, because he is definitely not freaking out because he's in close proximity to raw emotion that is radiating like the Chernobyl of sad dead wife feelings. Unfortunately for Taako, there is no escape. He is out of slots. The spell fizzles out with a sad spark, leaving him feeling just a bit more exhausted than before, and also now maybe caught in the act of trying to escape.
After that, he is officially out of decent exit plans. Forcing his way in right now seems Unideal, so he has nothing better to do but wait for a few minutes to see if Magnus needs anything specific other than his dubiously helpful presence. ]
[Yeah. A few minutes are probably good. He needs to cry out some feelings before he can talk about this. But once he's had a couple minutes he pulls back, just a little, and scrubs at his face with his hands.]
Sorry. I - I didn't expect - it's just, that they told me they didn't know if it was possible for her to wake up. [Realizing belatedly he wasn't intending to tell Taako that. He wasn't intending to tell anyone that. He's glad to know it, but he doesn't want to put upon anyone else's hopes.] I mean, but, she doesn't look dead. When she died, it was - you know, dead? [This doesn't make a whole lot of sense but it seems to make sense to him.] But she isn't even hurt.
Did - should I introduce you, or...? [Yeah you're being invited to participate now. Sorry.]
[ It makes sense enough. Compared to Lup's "back soon" escapades, then his not even knowing her existence for years. The whole idea of someone being. You know, dead? As opposed to simply being gone. There's a difference. Taako squints a little at the "not possible for her to wake up" part, but doesn't push. Staying posi, right?
But okay, if he's gonna participate, he's gonna participate. Since he's had these few minutes to compose himself anyway. Sauntering over to take a peek in, as in you do, then giving a dramatic flourish - again as one does when meeting your buddy's dead wife? This is all very tonally inappropriate, but it's the best thing he can think of to do. ]
Yeah right! As if an introduction is necessary. It's me, Taako, you know? From TV? She knows who I am. You know who I am, right, uh, Julie? [Tapping on the glass.]
[So, I'm not going to describe Julia other than the fact that she's a tiefling headcanon copyright me. No, she's a human woman and she looks essentially like what you'd imagine Magnus' dream woman would look like. Based on every woman Magnus has ever kind of acted like a doofus around, Julia is very his type.
Anyway, Magnus looks slightly alarmed for a second when he taps on the glass, but then he breaks out into a grin. Seems like maybe this was the right thing to do after all.]
No chance! You never came to Ravens Roost. Guess we were too smalltime for a big shot like Taako.
[All Taako sees is a beautiful giant buxom bugbear? Don't impose your terrible coward's headcanons on me. Maybe she's a huge dragonborn and Magnus loved that sexy lizard, fuck you.
But okay fine, I guess this is the Worst Timeline so she's some human woman whatever. Taako doesn't stare anyway, because that seems kind of weird to scope your good pal's frozen wife for too long. I mean, she certainly looks like a Burnsides girl. He's not in any position to judge anyone outloud.]
Hey now, I was an elf of the people, just trying to elevate some palates even in the most backwater places. Just hadn't gotten to the R's yet. But fine, go ahead, introduce me.
Edited (the shitpost comment of 1000 edits) 2017-08-03 04:39 (UTC)
[Looking at Taako like he's being a little dense. But he shrugs, and raps very gently on the glass.]
Hey Jules. This is my friend Taako. From TV. He taught me how to cook Filet alla Neverwinter and he won't admit it but I'm better at it than him. When you get out I'll show you, okay?
[ It's called processing and using your goddamn imagination you tool. They were doing it five minutes ago to Lup, and they will look crazypants in front of your dead wife, Magnus.
Anyway that sucked there wasn't a single compliment or declaration of Taako being the world's most amazing wizard? Just being rude about his cooking? ]
Now you're just setting her up for disappointment, my man. We're stayin' posi, not straight up lying.
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He opens his mouth to make some sort of explanation and then closes it again a couple of times. This is difficult, emotions are hard, being a stunted baby is ruining his life etc. He goes through another minor face journey - ending on sour. He's going through entire emotional gamuts here in record time.]
I dont -- I don't know what I'm supposed to do here? [And that's a big admission. He almost always has something. A plan. At least an exit strategy. But now it's like every idea has been totally upended, and he's lost, nearly alone, angry. Of course he isn't ready. He isn't equipped for any of this.] She's right there and I can't do shit, can I? It fucking sucks.
I lose her, and when I get to remember that shit going down, finally, when I get a chance to do something - it's poof! gone. The entire thing. Right into the Hunger, the Storm, what-the-fuck-ever it's called. Not even a chance to fight back or give it the old [He flips off the sky for emphasis.] razzle-dazzle as we go down. And, against all reason, we're washed up here on Moon Base 2.0 with only a pinkie shake deal with a god who's got her on ice until . . . who knows! It's a freakin' surprise. We don't know anything, we can't do anything, can't plan anything. I can't exactly crawl in there and just go back to sleep, so I guess the options are sit here and let the whole, uh, apocalypse-induced despair take over, or keep shuffling on doing our little goof goof boner hot take routine until I can think of something better. That might actually work.
So, yeah, I'm ready to go.
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[He knows he shouldn't acknowledge this mess; there are rules to dealing with Taako, and that's one of the most important ones. But he can't really help the sad puppy face he gets during all of this.]
It's okay to be angry at it. [It doesn't have to be goof goof boner hot take, he means.]
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[ It's a little snippy, but it's not really said with spite. The sad puppy routine doesn't make Taako any angrier, but it does make him back off a bit. He knows it isn't pity being directed at him, but he doesn't even want to be the same vicinity as being pitied - and this whole Look is definitely edging towards getting him elected Mayor of Mess Town which is an appointment that comes with a key to the Pity Vaults.
Either way, he doesn't want to be here any longer at this point. Also he only has one spell left (though he is very much unaware of that.) ]
Your, uh. [Dead wife? That seems insensitive? Not that calling her an "uh" is any better.] I don't know her, so that dog won't hunt. [ He hesitates a long second before he offers the handle of the Umbra Staff. He's still holding on, Magnus is just gonna have to hold onto the steering wheel as well, like letting a toddler drive the car by sitting on your lap. ] Grab a wing and think hard. Maybe can make this work like I'm some sort of magical tuning device.
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But he doesn't have anything else to say about it. He grips the handle and thinks about Julia. Its been a very long time, and maybe it shoulder be harder to remember this clearly. He's spent a lot of time thinking of Julia in the abstract but not so much time thinking about Julia the person, at least not recently. But then, counting the chalice, it's really only been a matter of months since he last saw her, and that's an easy memory to focus his mind on. He pictures her, on that last day that his life was perfect, and feels a sudden spike of selfishness for it, and he thinks to himself please, please, please.]
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Taako feels, suddenly, pretty exhausted for reasons unknown. Could just be the kind of drained you feel after emotional outbursts, but he isn't quite connecting that he's totally out of spells for unexplained nerfing reasons. Maybe he shouldn't have wasted three on a tantrum? Oh well. Slipping the end of the umbrella out of Magnus' hand and stepping aside to lean against one of the other pods to wait. ]
🚨 Sad Boy Alert 🚨
He's scared. Not just nervous or overwhelmed by feelings but heart hammeringly terrified, in a way he hasn't felt in a very, very long time. Enough that it makes it hard for him to move his legs to walk over to the pod in front of them, or to reach out his hand to wipe the glass and peer inside. But he does it anyway, forcing his way into bravery the best way he knows how.
It should be pretty obvious, once he actually looks inside, that this is the right pod. His face falls and he looks stricken, just before he leans in to rest his forehead against the glass, one hand pressed against the door for support. He doesn't actually say anything, just rests there. There are a few good seconds of silence, broken into when it becomes obvious he's crying a little.]
🚨 please send help trapped on sad boy island SOS 🚨
His best idea is to maybe just. Cast a casual Blink and give Magnus some space - definitely for Magnus' sake and not for his own, because he is definitely not freaking out because he's in close proximity to raw emotion that is radiating like the Chernobyl of sad dead wife feelings. Unfortunately for Taako, there is no escape. He is out of slots. The spell fizzles out with a sad spark, leaving him feeling just a bit more exhausted than before, and also now maybe caught in the act of trying to escape.
After that, he is officially out of decent exit plans. Forcing his way in right now seems Unideal, so he has nothing better to do but wait for a few minutes to see if Magnus needs anything specific other than his dubiously helpful presence. ]
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Sorry. I - I didn't expect - it's just, that they told me they didn't know if it was possible for her to wake up. [Realizing belatedly he wasn't intending to tell Taako that. He wasn't intending to tell anyone that. He's glad to know it, but he doesn't want to put upon anyone else's hopes.] I mean, but, she doesn't look dead. When she died, it was - you know, dead? [This doesn't make a whole lot of sense but it seems to make sense to him.] But she isn't even hurt.
Did - should I introduce you, or...? [Yeah you're being invited to participate now. Sorry.]
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But okay, if he's gonna participate, he's gonna participate. Since he's had these few minutes to compose himself anyway. Sauntering over to take a peek in, as in you do, then giving a dramatic flourish - again as one does when meeting your buddy's dead wife? This is all very tonally inappropriate, but it's the best thing he can think of to do. ]
Yeah right! As if an introduction is necessary. It's me, Taako, you know? From TV? She knows who I am. You know who I am, right, uh, Julie? [Tapping on the glass.]
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Anyway, Magnus looks slightly alarmed for a second when he taps on the glass, but then he breaks out into a grin. Seems like maybe this was the right thing to do after all.]
No chance! You never came to Ravens Roost. Guess we were too smalltime for a big shot like Taako.
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But okay fine, I guess this is the Worst Timeline so she's some human woman whatever. Taako doesn't stare anyway, because that seems kind of weird to scope your good pal's frozen wife for too long. I mean, she certainly looks like a Burnsides girl. He's not in any position to judge anyone outloud.]
Hey now, I was an elf of the people, just trying to elevate some palates even in the most backwater places. Just hadn't gotten to the R's yet. But fine, go ahead, introduce me.
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[Looking at Taako like he's being a little dense. But he shrugs, and raps very gently on the glass.]
Hey Jules. This is my friend Taako. From TV. He taught me how to cook Filet alla Neverwinter and he won't admit it but I'm better at it than him. When you get out I'll show you, okay?
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Anyway that sucked there wasn't a single compliment or declaration of Taako being the world's most amazing wizard? Just being rude about his cooking? ]
Now you're just setting her up for disappointment, my man. We're stayin' posi, not straight up lying.
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