He's right. [He lets her go when she pulls away, satisfied he's managed to give her maybe a little bit of comfort.] This is their fucking game. You don't gotta be mad, but if you're gonna be, I'd say whoever actually did this shit deserves a lot more of your anger than you do.
[ she's still having a bit more trouble emoting than usual, but at least her body looks a bit less tense, now. she's quiet, not sure quite how to process that portion of blame. objectively, she gets it. she knows it's not really her fault. either time.
out loud, she's said as much a dozen times in her life. but the problem is that she's heard people say the opposite. and that she thinks it, inside her head, regardless of what she says. ]
I don't know. I didn't get a chance to talk to him about - what you told me.
[ she's moving a bit slowly, a bit robotic, but she does take a bite of the apple pie. ]
[He gets that. He carries his own guilt around like a rotting albatross hung around his neck as well, and can say outloud as much as he wants that maybe he isn't to blame, but it doesn't really matter, does it? It'd be so nice, to be able to move on as easily as they lie about moving on. Watching like a hawk as she eats, really just to make sure that she does. He's not good at hugs, or talking about feelings, or taking things seriously, but he can do the things he can do, and one of them is food.]
He . . . if he did, he might not have done the right thing, but he was trying to. Do right by you, that is.
[Magnus isn't like that. He doesn't carry his guilt - he tries not to think about it. He believes as hard as he can that he was doing his best, he was doing what he thought was right at the time, so he isn't to blame and he shouldn't be ashamed of what can't be fixed anymore. Maybe because if he did stop to think about it, if he really let himself wonder whether the things that had happened to him were his doing, he wouldn't be able to keep moving the way he has to make himself. But he understands that everyone feels things differently.]
For what it's worth. I - I dunno. I honestly thought we'd talked him out of it. That's what we told you, remember? So, it makes sense, you couldn't have expected this. [Or maybe he's just giving her an out, to not feel like she's to blame.]
Wish I'd done more. But, uh, tomorrow - whether or not he did it, this shit's going to come out. You ready for that?
[ Alex nods in Taako's direction. yeah. Jonas was trying to do right by her. that colossal idiot. even saving her from this doesn't really save her. but maybe he hadn't even put that together. (or, maybe it doesn't matter, because clearly anything he was trying to do didn't go how he had planned.) ]
Yeah. I didn't... Think he'd do anything. You both - did all you could.
[ she takes another bite of the pie, possibly just for an excuse to think for a second. she almost said 'we' did all we could, but that still doesn't feel right. ]
It's fine. I was planning to be honest about it, anyway. [ Alex would definitely have lied to protect Jonas. but there's no real point to it, now. so it's better to let the truth come out. there's no reason to slow everything down for no reason by trying to cover it up. ]
[He feels guilty now, about asking for honesty. It isn't as if that's all that easy either. He doesn't owe these people anything, he doesn't think Alex owes them anything.]
Yeah. Uh. That's part of why I wanted to check in. If you were involved in this - if it was a plan that went wrong - we'd, uh. Cover for you?
[He's aware that that sounds. Extremely shitty. But people do things for the people they care about. He tries to be a good person, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't take advantage of an opportunity if he needed it, if it was necessary.]
Doesn't sound like that's what happened. But we could still leave your name out of it. Don't want you to get dragged into this.
[ that's probably one of the most comforting things she's heard today, honestly. like... yeah, it's shitty. yeah, she wants as many people to be honest here as possible. just like she doesn't want anyone to have to kill anyone. but it's nice to hear that someone is willing to do a shitty thing for your sake.
at least, when it's something that doesn't get them killed.
still, she shakes her head. ]
Thanks. But it's fine. I really didn't have any part in it, so... I think honesty is still best. I don't want to slow down figuring out exactly what happened by hiding the truth. There's no reason to. We didn't have any sort of plan. He didn't talk to me about it, and I didn't tell him...
[ ... to do it. she shakes her head. ]
I want to figure out exactly what happened. Just to know. That'll be easiest with the truth.
[Taako's isn't much of a law and order type of guy. He's very much a friends above all else one. Justice can go fuck itself if it's going to end up hurting someone he gives a shit about. Just nodding back though - it really is her choice on the honesty thing.]
Sure. We can do that too. Maybe. We'll, uh, try. Getting okay at this murder solving thing.
Yeah. Figuring out the truth this time sounds, uh, pretty good. Who knows what the fuck we're supposed to be trying to do these days. Let's just find out what happened.
[He's not quite there with Taako - his character sheet still says lawful, even if he forgets most of the time - but he does believe that whatever happened, Alex is innocent in it. Whether she'd helped kill someone or not, she seems innocent in it. So. He sincerely wants to help. Fortunately, it seems what Alex wants isn't so different from what he wants.]
[ Alex is quiet for a second. once again, using this food as an excuse not to talk. when she does speak up again, it's with her eyes down on her lap. she sounds bitter. ]
You're - we're supposed to be impressing the Composer. That's how the Erased come back. But you're right. What the fuck is supposed to accomplish something that vague?
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-- Take it that means you think he, uh, did it.
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out loud, she's said as much a dozen times in her life. but the problem is that she's heard people say the opposite. and that she thinks it, inside her head, regardless of what she says. ]
I don't know. I didn't get a chance to talk to him about - what you told me.
[ she's moving a bit slowly, a bit robotic, but she does take a bite of the apple pie. ]
no subject
He . . . if he did, he might not have done the right thing, but he was trying to. Do right by you, that is.
no subject
For what it's worth. I - I dunno. I honestly thought we'd talked him out of it. That's what we told you, remember? So, it makes sense, you couldn't have expected this. [Or maybe he's just giving her an out, to not feel like she's to blame.]
Wish I'd done more. But, uh, tomorrow - whether or not he did it, this shit's going to come out. You ready for that?
no subject
Yeah. I didn't... Think he'd do anything. You both - did all you could.
[ she takes another bite of the pie, possibly just for an excuse to think for a second. she almost said 'we' did all we could, but that still doesn't feel right. ]
It's fine. I was planning to be honest about it, anyway. [ Alex would definitely have lied to protect Jonas. but there's no real point to it, now. so it's better to let the truth come out. there's no reason to slow everything down for no reason by trying to cover it up. ]
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We don't have to. You know. Tell the truth.
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[He's aware that that sounds. Extremely shitty. But people do things for the people they care about. He tries to be a good person, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't take advantage of an opportunity if he needed it, if it was necessary.]
Doesn't sound like that's what happened. But we could still leave your name out of it. Don't want you to get dragged into this.
no subject
at least, when it's something that doesn't get them killed.
still, she shakes her head. ]
Thanks. But it's fine. I really didn't have any part in it, so... I think honesty is still best. I don't want to slow down figuring out exactly what happened by hiding the truth. There's no reason to. We didn't have any sort of plan. He didn't talk to me about it, and I didn't tell him...
[ ... to do it. she shakes her head. ]
I want to figure out exactly what happened. Just to know. That'll be easiest with the truth.
no subject
Sure. We can do that too. Maybe. We'll, uh, try. Getting okay at this murder solving thing.
no subject
[He's not quite there with Taako - his character sheet still says lawful, even if he forgets most of the time - but he does believe that whatever happened, Alex is innocent in it. Whether she'd helped kill someone or not, she seems innocent in it. So. He sincerely wants to help. Fortunately, it seems what Alex wants isn't so different from what he wants.]
no subject
You're - we're supposed to be impressing the Composer. That's how the Erased come back. But you're right. What the fuck is supposed to accomplish something that vague?